She put a cigarette between her dry lips and glanced at the sky. It was in the middle of the night and for a second the shining stars wiped out all her feelings and she felt empty, alone and at the same time strong. She had been running for hours, trying to escape the urge. She had it in her. The urge to do something she would later regret.
As the moon came out of the clouds, the urge became overwhelming. She kneeled and from her throat a deep scream all the way from her stomach seemed to wipe out all life in the deep wild forest. She started crying, and began begging for God to end her life. She could not bare the thought of living like this, becoming this thing he had forced her to be.
She met him just a few weeks ago. He was handsome, smart and the man of her dreams. They met on a masquerade party. It was one of those parties where people escape to be themselves or to get high. She certainly did. She was escaping her dreadful life, and was high on acid. When they say each other the whole world stopped for a few seconds, or a lifetime. They did not speak at their first meeting. But no words were needed. When you know, you just do.
The following days, she could not stop thinking of him. At first she tried to control her feelings, blaming the acid. But the second time she saw him, she could not fool herself anymore. She fell like suicide from a bridge. There was something about him, something wild and untamable. His eyes sucked her in like they were black holes in outer space. That second time she built up her courage to go and speak to him. You could almost see the sparks flying between them, and before she knew it, she was lost.
After making love to him she changed. Everybody around her noticed. She did not talk or spent time with anyone except him. He became her world. He was beautiful, wonderful and she adored him. After just a few days he asked her to be with him forever. Little did she know that he really meant forever. If he could not have her, no one would. He started abusing her, verbally at first, then he started beating her. She did not mind. The pain, he said, was to make her feel like it was real. That being with him was not a dream. The pain made her feel alive.
She started to eat meat again, after being a vegetarian for ten years. She became an animal with him, biting him, hitting him and gave all of herself to please his needs. She started to look like an abused woman, while his wounds and bruises healed in just a few hours. She did not notice that something was wrong, until the night of the full moon.
They went to another party together. She left him just for a minute and when she came back he was in another woman’s arms. She became furious, and was about to kill him, then she saw his fangs and it all became clear to her. She could not speak, nor move. She just stood there looking silly realizing she was in deep shit. She wanted to tell someone, but it all seemed so stupid. Who would believe her?
So she ran. She ran for hours. She did not even get tired. Something had changed. She was strong. She had always been in good shape, but not like this. And now the urge was screaming for her to kill. To kill anything that was alive. Her sense of smell had increased, and she could smell fear not far away. She started sneaking, just like a cat to kill her pray. Within seconds it was over, and the bitter, yet sweet taste of blood going down her throat stilled the urge and hunger for now.
Now she was sure of what she had become. She was scared. She needed to do something about this. Who could she speak to? Who would believe her? She decided that she needed to kill him, before he did this to anyone else.
She never did.
